Poor and disabled people throughout Britain have been cracking open the metaphorical champagne following the news that the Government has decided to reduce corporation tax from 20% to 17%.
Announcing his eagerly anticipated budget in parliament today Mr Osborne said “I know I’m not flavour of the month with tax credit and disability benefit cuts. But this way everyone benefits. As long as they are a CEO or a major shareholder in a corporation. This is my way of giving something back.”
“If we reduce corporation tax then corporations might actually pay it. And if they still don’t pay it, the fact that there’s a lower bill that they’re not paying means they actually paying more by comparison.” He added.
One disabled benefit claimant said “I was initially upset that I would be dramatically worse off than previously. But when the Government said it was going to subsidise billion pound organisations that pay their staff fuck all and probably won’t pay any tax anyway, then I realised that I was being selfish and it wasn’t all about me.”
Indeed, a spokesman for popular purveyor of food like substances McDonalds told us “With a cut in corporation tax we can afford to pay our front line staff more. We’re not going to obviously but we could afford to.”
Prime Minister David Cameron has assured critics of today’s budget that whatever they think of it, they’re wrong and it’s actually something else.
“The Conservative Government have actually spent more than any other Government on whatever it is you’re asking about despite on the surface not appearing to. Or less than any other Government depending on what the question was.” He explained.