Britain secures trade deal with Liechtenstein

Boris Johnson has secured a victory for Brexit Britain having reportedly brokered a trade deal with the country of Liechtenstein.

“That’s a massive population of 38000 people. And there’ll be buying all their stuff off us. As long as they can’t get it in Germany, Austria or Switzerland.” A delighted Mr Johnson explained.

“It’s one in the eye for the Bremoaners” he added.

An equally buoyant Prince Alois of Liechtenstein  said the trade deal would mean that at some point some of his people might well buy something British. Though obviously this must come at a price.

“We are pleased to welcome Britain as a trading partner, and delighted that they have agreed to abide by our list of requirements, rules and stipulation of an open door policy for all immigrants. We would also like to come into your parliament and change some of your laws, randomly and for our own amusement.” He explained.

Indeed, with talk of potential deals with Lapland and the central African republic the EU is becoming widely perceived as  a dinosaur from a bygone age, albeit a dinosaur that financially we’d all be much better off in.

“And if after that, anyone still thinks we should be in the EU then they’re probably the sort of unpatriotic bastards that don’t stand up for the national anthem. Or don’t find Jim Davidson funny. Or don’t believe everything they read in the daily mail. These people should be shot.” Mr Johnson told us.