Jim Davidson to run for Prime Minister

jim-davidson-prime-minister

Jim Davidson is to run for MP, leadership of the conservative party and Prime Minister in time for this years likely general election according to party sources.

“People are too scared to slap a woman’s arse and do impressions of Indian people. I want an immediate return to 1970s intolerance and I’m going to criminalise lefties getting their knickers in a twist” He explained.

Thought to be gathering support at rallies under the thinly veiled guise of “comedy evenings” Mr Davidson has been addressing audiences of hundreds at venues such as Fernham Hall in Fareham and Aylesbury civic centre.

“We’re all so politically correct we’ve got a bird as a prime minister. She probably even has a man making tea for her. Bunch of commies.” He told a packed crowd.

The leadership bid has already gained the support of the Sun, the Daily Mail and the Daily Express, and US president elect Donald has angered present Prime Minister Theresa May by arranging a private meeting with Mr Davidson several weeks before her own.

Indeed as William Hill and Betfair have slashed the odds of Mr Davidson obtaining the top job, Conservative MPs have been queuing up to denounce the potential new leader.

Portsmouth MP Penny Mordaunt said “It’s ridiculous to think that a TV personality with racist tendencies  could win the popular vote with no experience of political office. That’s why I’m not endorsing him. Unless of course he wins in which case I would be honoured to serve in his cabinet. We’ve got to listen to the people. Especially now some of them have worked out how to vote.”

Fellow TV personality Richard Madeley has denied being shortlisted for a senior cabinet position. “Nothing’s cast in stone yet” He told us.

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