Birmingham schools infiltrated by the Borg

Education Secretary Michael Gove has today called for a thorough investigation into the running of 25 Birmingham schools amidst widespread accusations that they are now being run by cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones of multiple species organized as an interconnected collective, the decisions of which are made by a hive mind linked by subspace radio.  Mr Gove says he is “extremely […]

Birmingham to get new accent

Residents of Birmingham and the surrounding provinces have been awarded a Government grant for a new accent as part of a new initiative announced today by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Speaking at a this morning’s press conference Mr Osborne told us “We all know that times are hard but we need a high […]