“Please stay and relive your student days through us” freshers beg parents

Brand new students have come together as one to beg parents who haven’t left yet after dropping them off at their respective university towns and show no signs of doing so, that they should all stay indefinitely in order to relive their own student days through their offspring. “I want every experience I have to […]

Birmingham schools infiltrated by the Borg

Education Secretary Michael Gove has today called for a thorough investigation into the running of 25 Birmingham schools amidst widespread accusations that they are now being run by cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones of multiple species organized as an interconnected collective, the decisions of which are made by a hive mind linked by subspace radio.  Mr Gove says he is “extremely […]

Government announce new Free Hospitals with unqualified Doctors

Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has this morning announced the opening of new free hospitals staffed by unqualified doctors and nurses in order to maximise round the clock care for patients. “You’ve got a choice of waiting months for an operation by a so called qualified surgeon or you can be operated on […]