Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has said he is “absolutely delighted” at news that a new Jizz flick is set to be made in the UK rather than the other side of the pond. Speaking at a meeting of the G7 group of industrialised nations, Mr Osborne said the decision to make the film here was “clear evidence” that incentives offered to film studios are making the UK an attractive prospect.
He said: “I think it is a real vote of confidence in Britain’s creative industries and brings with it not just jobs for actors and directors and so on, but for all the other people who get involved such as the man who polishes the actors buttocks between takes so they look nice and shiny”
Smut vendor extraordinaire Ben Dover who will be producing the new film said that he was swayed by Mr Osborne’s tax breaks and overall keenness when deciding which side of the pond to film on. “It is always tempting to film in the US as actresses there have inflatable boobs which they can inflate to whatever size is appropriate for the film. But George offered to let us off loads of tax. And has pledged to personally supervise the filming from start to finish. Wearing only his pants”.
David Cameron has welcomed the news and denied that he is out of touch with British made bongo films “I love domestically produced porn films. In fact I think the last time I watched one was on my i-pod whilst waiting for a train at Leeds station.”
George Osborne was doubly pleased to find out that the next Star Wars film is to be made in the UK. “My favourite character is Han Solo” he told us.
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