Rockstar Games furious as Waddingtons release GTA5 the board game

Grand Theft Auto

British based Rockstar Games are said to be furious today as their long awaited release of Grand Theft Auto Five has been overshadowed by traditional games manufacturer Waddingtons releasing a board game with exactly the same name. The surprise release has said to have decimated advance orders with those queuing for the game moving to queue outside Toys R Us or W H Smiths on hearing the news.

A spokesman for Rockstar told us “We’re absolutely screwed. We’ve just spent £140 million on developing this game and it turns out everyone’s bored with computer games.  We needed to knock this thing out at £40 to every single male or ‘gamer’ to make a profit but instead those bastards Waddingtons are knocking their whole shazzam, board, pieces and everything at £19.99.”

Indeed the overall board game package has proven hard to resist.  As today’s review in the Daily Mail says “You simply choose from a hat, a dog or an iron, roll the dice and then race around the board in a mad cap game of stealing cars, selling drugs and organising protection rackets. I’ve just rolled a 6 which means I’ve stolen a Hummer, shot a pedestrian and shagged a prostitute. You don’t even need to plug it in. It’s a victory for old fashioned fun that you can all sit down and play together as a family.”

One newly converted ‘Board Gamer’ told us “I was totally unaware that you could play a game without a) electricity and b) sitting alone in your bedroom only stopping play on occasions to have a tactical wank. Boards and dice are definitely where it’s at. In fact you can stick your X-Box up your arse.”

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