UKIP change name to UKUNT

United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Farage has today announced a renaming of his party to “United Kingdom Under Neath the Tweed” or UKUNT until September’s referendum on Scottish independence with a possible view of changing it back again in the event of a “no” vote.

Speaking on Andrew Neil’s weekday political show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ Mr Farage explained “If we bang on about the United Kingdom being separate from all other influences and then part of the United Kingdom decides it’s going to become independent from us, then that makes the whole thing seem ridiculous and quite unfair. I personally hate going to Scotland since they tried to put me in a wicker man that time, so I would never stray north of the river Tweed anyway.

“There’s  no point including them in  deciding our careful blend of knee jerk policies, jingoistic diatribes and borderline racism if they’re only going to skip off, get into bed with Johnny Foreigner and join the Euro. Obviously a ‘no’ vote will ensure a return to the name UKIP and all Scots will be entitled to apply for junior party membership.

“It says something about us that we’re willing to change our name just like that. You’ll never catch Labour or Conservatives doing that.  And people are sick of being run by over privileged career politicians. I’m different because I’m an over privileged career politician that used to be a city broker which makes me like a breath of fresh air.  The people are ready for a change. In fact several people have chanted the new party name of UKUNT at me loudly already today.”

One member of the public we spoke to said the newly named party would have his full support.”I respect Mr Farage. Someones got to do something about them. Whoever they are. And he’s the one to do it.”