Max Clifford boxes tiger to save baby

 

max clifford boxes tigerMax Clifford is being viewed by the the public in a very different light today having completed six three minute rounds of boxing with an adult Bengali Tiger, in order to save a baby.

Mother of the baby, Tracey Garlic of Aston Clinton, Buckinghamshire had nothing but praise for Mr Clifford when she spoke at a press conference this morning.

“We were having a day out at Whipsnade zoo and we were looking at a tiger. I felt a little bit sorry for it stuck in a cage like that, so I decided to throw the poor thing a handful of sweets. Unfortunately I accidentally used the wrong arm and all too late I realised that the sweets were still in my hand and I had actually thrown my baby over the top of the cage! It’s the sort of mistake that anyone could make but I just froze and lit up a cigarette.”

“Luckily,” Ms Garlic continued “Max Clifford just happened to be standing next to me and uncannily just happened to be sporting shorts and a pair of boxing gloves. I wondered fleetingly if he might jump over the fence and box the tiger to save my baby but you don’t like to ask these things. However, he must have read my mind as the next thing I knew he’d scaled the fence and as soon as the bell went for round one and started punching the tiger on the nose!”

Former boxer and pundit Barry McGuigan was on hand to offer Mr Clifford advice and explain how the fight was going to passers by. “The thing about boxing a tiger” he explained “is that you have to keep your guard up and jab with the right. You can’t go for a knockout as it will just bite your head off. So you have to wear it down and go for a points win. That’s exactly what Max did so that’s how he won on a split decision.”

Though it was possibly not as exciting a fight as many might have expected, Max Clifford received a standing ovation from passers by both times that he climbed out of the cage, having inadvertently forgotten the baby the first time. One passer by told us “I’m sure I didn’t like him yesterday for some reason or another, but now I’m strangely filled with admiration for him.”

“It’s been a revelation reading about myself in the paper like this” Mr Clifford told us “Rather than being a sexual predator it instead turns out that I’m quite a guy.”

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