Prison now indistinguishable from a royal variety performance

Criminals throughout the country are reportedly owning up to their crimes and then committing more in order to ensure a custodial sentence where they will stand a good chance of being entertained for free by a plethora of music hall talent from the 1970s. One judge we spoke to told us “We’re getting through convictions […]

Max Clifford boxes tiger to save baby

  Max Clifford is being viewed by the the public in a very different light today having completed six three minute rounds of boxing with an adult Bengali Tiger, in order to save a baby. Mother of the baby, Tracey Garlic of Aston Clinton, Buckinghamshire had nothing but praise for Mr Clifford when she spoke […]

1970s accused of rape

Police Commissioners throughout the country have cancelled  all leave for police officers for the foreseeable future as a warrant has been issued for the arrest of the entire 1970s. The move comes after Stuart Hall, Ken Barlow and now professional fibber Max Clifford have revealed that any sexual crimes they may or may not have […]