Fury at EU plans to spend Britain’s £1.7 billion on world’s largest baguette


Prime Minister David Cameron is said to be furious at plans to spend some or all the recent EU demand for an extra £1.7 billion on a record breaking giant baguette.

Speaking angrily and pointing his finger Mr Cameron said “We’re fed up of subsidising euro things. Last time it was a giant paella, the time before that a gargantuan bratwurst. Well we’re not going to pay up unless it’s spent on something British like a stew.”

Alexander Graf Lambsdorff, a German MEP, said that due to growth in the UK economy, Britain must stump up and pay its dues, and warned that it should not try to dictate how the money should then be spent.

He added: “If you have higher GDP growth than forecast, that also means logically that you have a higher contribution to the community’s budget. And once you have given it to us, then it is our money and we will decide what to spend it on.”

European Commission president Jose Manuel Barroso has said that whilst the levy may seem huge, to complete a bread related product of such immense proportions, £1.7bn may still be insufficient to cover the entire cost, hinting at another levy from Britain before Christmas.

“It’s not just making a baguette the size of  the eiffel tower, you also have to have an oven big enough to cook it in.” He explained.

“Sadly we cannot send any back to Britain as unlike your sliced bread, baguettes go stale within a day and would not survive the journey. It will just sit there in Strasbourg or Brussels and eventually be eaten by birds.” He added.

It is not clear whether the baguette will sit lengthways or be stood up on its end.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: