Mark Reckless defects back to Conservative Party

mark reckless racist

Conservative MP for Rochester Mark Reckless has announced this evening that he is to defect back to the Conservative Party, having set the record straight, ruffled the feathers of the establishment and rocked the boat.

“I’m being blown from one metaphorical borderline racist tree to another like a leaf in the wind” he explained. “But if I ever go back to UKIP, which I just might, then I’ll do the right thing and call another By-election.”

The move has proved popular with many Rochester voters who like Reckless have become disillusioned with the party that they had just voted for. One local told us “I voted for Reckless because I was sick and tired of the last party that Reckless was in. Now he’s left UKIP just minutes after everyone voted for him and that’s a good thing too in my book, because they’ve had their chance and they’ve fucked it. It’s Mark Reckless all the way. He’s like a breath of fresh air.”

David Cameron has applauded the move saying “Once again the public have realised that we are the irrational anti-immigration Daily mail readers party and voted for Reckless who though he is with us, was with them after he was with us. And you can be sure we’re going to be cracking down on things.”

One non-descript wobbly eyed right wing activist told us “I’m not bothered about whether he’s with the Tories, UKIP or BNP as long as he gets rid of all them immigrants. All of them. Backdated a few generations as well.  And then the economy will grind to a halt and we’ll have to get them all back again. Probably through a mass immigration program like in the 1950’s. But we won’t just stand by and let that happen. They’ll all have to leave”.

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