Dame Fiona Woolf title not at all iffy say posh, rich establishment people

Dame Woolf

Some posh rich old money establishment type people have set the record straight today by confirming that the honour of Dame awarded to Fiona Woolf is not at all iffy and actually shows the ruling classes to be very in touch with the people. Very in touch indeed.

Baroness Butler-Sloss told BBC Radio 4 that the title was well deserved because she said so. “I’m a Baroness and that makes me right. Other people who aren’t a Baroness should accept that they are wrong, keep quiet and know their place.”

Indeed the sentiment has been shared throughout the aristocratic sphere. Lord Fiddles of Coverupshire who is widely predicted to be appointed the next head of the abuse inquiry told us “The whole thing is a storm in a tea cup and we’ll hear no more about it. Now I’m holding my hand up to you in a way that implies I don’t want you to answer back”

Dame Woolf herself has told journalists that whilst she can understand the controversy surrounding her title she would be clinging on to it for dear life, the chances of winkling her our of her Dameship even with a shitty stick being highly unlikely.

“I was promised a Dameship in return for not finding any paedophiles in Westminster. And now I’m not on the committee I’m definitely not going to find any. So I’m off to see the Queen to get my very well deserved title.”. She explained.

“Then I’m going to celebrate by scoffing caviare from a swan’s arse.”  She added.

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