Pub beer gardens to ban farting

farting in beer gardens

Farting is set to be banned in pub beer gardens following a report released today by the Royal Society for Public Health who said that the practise should be seen as “abnormal” and more controls are needed to cover areas where people gather.

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said that regrettably despite Government intervention, people were still enjoying going to the pub. And laughing at farts in beer gardens could well have some bearing on this.

The move is seen as blow to an already struggling pub trade, only just starting to revive through the craze of flarting, a mixture of flirting and letting one off. Landlord Daley Mayall of the Nags Head in Aylesbury told us that without flarting many customers would instead stay at home and beep their horns in their own gardens.

“It’s a sad day for my pub. The amount of times I’ve had punters go outside for a quick trump and ended up meeting Mr Right or the girl of their dreams. Now I’m going to have to tell them all to have a good butt sneeze at home before they go out. Or their selfish actions could cost me my license.”

Indeed one regular at the pub told us that criminalising beer garden flatulence would be the final nail in the coffin in terms of sucking the life blood out of an ailing institution. “If I can’t even sit outside with a pint and tread on a duck after a hard days work then quite frankly I give up.”

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