Cameron to visit flood hit Venice

Prime Minister David Cameron is to visit flood hit Venice as a show of solidarity with the locals who have found themselves surrounded by water.

Speaking from outside a COBRA meeting regarding the recent flooding, Mr Cameron said that he would personally be travelling to Venice, either by way of private jet or at a more stately pace on the Royal Yacht Britannia.

“It’s awful there. You have to cross everywhere on bridges and get boats to places. But do the people moan? No, they just charge you £30 for a pizza. It’s admirable the way they just get on with things.” He explained.

The visit, which involves a number of trips to 5 star restaurants, has inexplicably come under criticism from tax payers who feel there are somehow better ways that the premier could be spending public funds.

However Mr Cameron has hit back saying that he will be more than happy to visit York and Cumbria the moment they get their shit together, preferably via market forces.

“Are people in York selling ice cream and riding people around in gondolas singing O sole mio? Are they making use of the boat they won on Bullseye? No. And they wonder why I come to Venice. The hotels are nicer here as well.” He told us.