The British public have today aired their mass disappointment that according to some people on twitter the great big celebrity super-injunction that has been in the news for weeks might just be about Elton John and his stupid sex life.
One person thriving on unfounded rumour said “We don’t know if it is or it isn’t but if it is we could be in trouble for even thinking about it. Even rolling our eyes back in our head having contemplated it is dodgy ground. Even if we don’t care.
“One things for sure, it gives candle in the wind a whole new meaning. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know.”
Indeed, one twitter user told us “I accidentally saw something in a Scottish paper but I made sure I took rohypnol and forgot all about it. I also gauged my own eyes out just in case I accidentally saw it again. But everyone’s still talking about it. The best thing to do is perforate both your eardrums just in case someone tells you about it in the pub.”
A defiant Mr John has refused to confirm or deny or write a song about the rumours.
“I will march around in one of my splendiferous costumes with white make up and a Marie Antoinette wig on and use my immense fortune to have the larynx removed of any pleb who dares utter details of my sex life, such is my wealth and importance.” He allegedly explained.