Queen to down 90 pints

Queen 90 pints

The Queen is to down 90 pints live on TV to celebrate her birthday on Thursday according to a statement issued by the palace.

A spokesman for the Queen said “Her Majesty her the royal highness the queen will be honouring the nation by consuming one pint of lager for every year of her life. She comes from a generation where if in doubt they have a drink, coining the phrase keep calm and open a Watneys party seven. That and tens of thousands of champagne receptions and gala dinners means she’s been permanently pickled since 1938. 90 pints isn’t actually that much for her. In fact she’ll probably have a sherry in private afterwards to celebrate having done it.”

One pub going Royalist told us that he would be cheering the Queen on pint by pint throughout her special day.

“It’s the right thing to do. One pint for every glorious year of her sitting there with a crown on her head playing host to other world leaders, some of whom have committed genocide. And waving.”

Many critics have accused the senior Royal of being out of touch with a population who would themselves struggle to afford an all-dayer in a London pub.

“Have you seen pub prices these days? That’s £500 all day long and that doesn’t even include peanuts or a kebab afterwards. Rather than aloofly sitting in a pub she should drink cans in the park like everyone else.” One Londoner complained.

Number one in line to the throne, his Royal Highness the Prince of Charles, has also sparked criticism following rumours that he will support his mother by drinking homoeopathic beer instead.

“You add a thimble full of beer to 14 gallons of water, hit it with a leather thwacky thing and shake it.” He explained.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: