Queen to down 90 pints

Queen 90 pints

The Queen is to down 90 pints live on TV to celebrate her birthday on Thursday according to a statement issued by the palace. A spokesman for the Queen said “Her Majesty her the royal highness the queen will be honouring the nation by consuming one pint of lager for every year of her life. […]

Queen urges a beer and a fight

queens speech

The Queen has used her Christmas day broadcast to highlight the importance of an alcohol fuelled punch up in sorting out personal differences in today’s society. Drunken fisticuffs she explained were a British institution that despite being used for hundreds of years to settle all manner of disagreements, was sadly dying out with pubs declining […]

Men return from pub as Britain’s Got Talent finally ends

men in pubs

The pub trade was today lamenting the end of the 2013 series of Britains Got Talent as husbands, boyfriends and male platonic live in friends throughout the country returned home from the pub this morning . Motorists faced delays of several hours as many city centres were closed today due to the staggering hoards of […]

Britain braces itself for Queen’s birthday pub crawl

queen in pub

The Queen is due to celebrate her birthday privately amongst family and friends according to Buckingham Palace. However, the night before is open to anyone and will involve an eight hour binge around the many chain pubs prevalent in the central London area. A spokesman from the Palace told us “Her Majesty wishes that her […]