Jim Bowen to open Yorkshire fracking site

jim bowen

Jim Bowen is to open Yorkshire’s new fracking site and commentate on the fracking as if it were an episode of Bullseye, according to a vote passed today by North Yorkshire county council.

One Councillor explained “We need to show the public that contrary to common opinion, fracking is lovely, smashing, super, great, fantastic and nice to have you on the show.”

Mr Bowen told us that he relished the challenge and hoped people would tune into his new venture whilst having their tea on Saturday evening.

“It’s a bit like darts except you’re shooting a jet of water and chemicals deep into the earth’s crust. You’ve completely fucked up the environment, you’re not going to win the speedboat but we’ll give you your bus fare home.” He explained.

Indeed, a spokesman for UK firm Third Energy who have been awarded the contract said  “No thanks Jim, we’ve had a great time so we’re going to call it a day and not use any profits we make to try and repair any inadvertent environmental disaster.”

Prime Minister David Cameron has applauded North Yorkshire County Council’s decision both to begin fracking and to employ Jim Bowen to commentate on it.

“As long as they keep it all north of the Watford gap they can do what the fuck they like.” He explained.

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