David Cameron has shown himself to be a man of the people by twocking a car from a nearby estate, which he apparently plans to give to his wife.
Reg Grundy from the Blackbird Lees estate in Oxford said “I couldn’t believe it. I saw someone out of my front window trying to break into my Vauxhall Chevette with a screw driver. I went out to confront him and it was only the bloody Prime Minister!
“I warned him I’d call the police, Prime Minister or no Prime Minister, but he just laughed and said he knew where I lived and would come back and tear me a new arsehole. It was all very refreshing. He’s just like a proper geyser.”
A spokesman for Thames Valley Police said “We have received reports of a stolen Vauxhall Chevette being wheel spinned and driven around the estate at full speed. We did chase him but we were unable to apprehend him due to his police escort.”
Mr Cameron however has hit back at suggestions that the new car for his wife is anything other than completely legitimate. “I can confirm my wife is now in possession of a Vauxhall Chevette. But it’s certainly not been stolen. Look, it’s got a different number plate. On the front anyway.”