Royal children are better than yours

The Royal children are better than yours, their birthdays are more important and when they are old enough to think things, the things that they think will be more important than the things your children think about things.

A spokesman for Kensington Palace said “We’re delighted to publish photos of Princess Charlotte on her second Birthday and we hope you the inferior public enjoy them, thus lighting up your otherwise miserable and pointless lives. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have requested that you don’t start sending them pictures of your own offspring under the misapprehension that they might give a shit.”

Prince William has distanced himself from the remarks of his own spokesperson saying he believes that all children are as important as each other and very nearly as important as his.

“We love all children but our son may one day be king and your children can only aspire to being on the early rounds of Britain’s got Talent. Our parenthood might seem like the same as yours but it really isn’t.”

The Daily Mail who have published the photos have called them a celebration of all things British and one in the eye for the lefties, remainers and Germans.