Greg Wallace run over by a cliché

Greg Wallace is reported to be critical but stable, having been run over by a cliché during today’s filming of Masterchef A source from the never-ending, swanky-nosh competition told us “It’s a dangerous job. He spouts this shit day in, day out knowing that at any point one of his nuggets of generic mediocrity could […]

All celebrities made out of plasticine by Tony Hart

The BBC and other television companies are facing further investigation today as news has emerged that every single celebrity, that we as normal people, look up to and aspire to, is not real and has actually been made out of plasticine by artist and former Vision On presenter Tony Hart. A remorseless and unrepentant Tony […]

Masterchef won by bloke who cooks with his arse

BBC executives have been left fuming following leaked information that this years Masterchef, all filmed in advance, was actually won by a man who used only his anus in preparing all dishes. Set to be shown on TV at some point next week, Surrey man Bert Onions apparently wows the judges and wins his heat […]