Power stations to be fuelled by the wrath of indignant locals

wind farms

Power stations will be fuelled by harnessing the wrath of local communities who want to be able to use copious amounts of electricity without actually setting eyes on a wind farm or any other form of power generation. New Government legislation has encouraged local people to protest in the most vocal terms about wind farms in their area, but requested those locals also be wired up to the national grid in order to convert knee jerk nimbyism into volts and amps.

Bert Onions from the Hartley Witney branch of the ‘No form of visible power source around here action group’  told a press conference that he would continue to protest until rural Hampshire is free of wind farms, chimneys, hydroelectric power stations and any other means of producing electricity, without actually effecting televisions, internet access or electric fondue sets.

“We will only accept electricity created in underground sweatshops by poor children on dynamo bicycles, preferably being whipped by a Uriah Heep style gang master, leaving us free to look out over our picturesque idyll and getting on with the serious business of complaining to farmers about their cows mooing instead” he told us.

David Cameron has heralded the legislation as a triumph for the Coalition. “It’s working a treat. Middle England has got itself  into such a frenzy over wind farms, it only takes a child to run through a village with a toy windmill and that village has enough outrage powered electricity for a month. Providing everyone is suitably wired up of course. And if there’s ever a power shortage we’ll simply build some social housing on the village green or move some asylum applicants into the local guest house. That’ll turn the lights back on!”

Comments

  1. Stop getting the wind up!

  2. Windbag farms?

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