Volunteers are already assembling in Amesbury, Wiltshire this morning to give Stonehenge a much needed lick of paint in what is thought to be the largest organised multi-colour painting of an ancient monument in recent history.
Chief Druid Arthur Uther Pendragon told us “The trouble with Stonehenge is that it was built 4.5k years ago when they didn’t have paint. Otherwise it would have been a myriad of different colours, probably. Plus the fact that sun and moon damage over the millennia will eventually cause the rocks to shrink if they haven’t already. So they need painting.”
“Most of us were up half the night being deep and meaningful so it’s been a good turn out this morning. Druid whites are absolutely ideal for painting and decorating as well so it hasn’t taken me long to get organised this morning. I have to be honest, it’s been a fucking eyesore for years, all grey like those 1950s shopping centres. I can’t wait to see it looking pretty with lots of different colours.”
Prime Minister David Cameron has lauded the project as yet another victory for the Big Society. “This is going to make DIY SOS look like a half baked television programme. And even better still, instead of benefiting an impoverished family it will give ancient spirits from the times of yore a much needed lift. And that’s much deeper.”
The specific colours of each stone will be largely left up to the volunteers themselves, with each one who turns up with a pot of paint bagsying a particular stone. It will be first come first serve and each stone can be painted any colour except grey.
“I think we’ve all had enough of grey” one volunteer told us.
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