Isle of Wight chosen for Britain’s first autobahn

The Isle of Wight has been chosen as the setting for Britain’s first speed limit free motorway according to the Department of Transport.

Secretary of State for Transport Patrick McLoughlin said “We want to create a southern offshore powerhouse. And we’re not going to have that pootling around at 40 mph. It’s time the Island caught up with the 20th century.

“Right now if someone is travelling from Ventnor to Shanklin  it takes a ridiculous 12 minutes. If we abolish speed limits then we can drop that down to 3. Or if they want to keep driving for 12 minutes they could get to Yarmouth. Sadly at the moment islanders are just not getting the full potential out of their B reg Granadas.”

The abolition of speed limits which has already been trialled on the island is thought to be of benefit not only to business but tourism as well. Indeed one tourist who had recently finished a vacation on the island  told us “I had a weeks holiday booked but I saw every bit of the island and I was back on the mainland in an hour. Now I can spend my week off doing something else. This autobahn is going to be brilliant!”

However the move is not thought to have gone down well with some locals, many of whom are already protesting against plans for a high speed rail service on the island. “Faster trains are going to need more coal. And probably 2 chimneys on each engine gushing out steam everywhere. It’ll be a money pit.” One islander told us.