Blatter to continue to run FIFA from prison

Sepp Blatter will continue to run FIFA from prison should he be found guilty according to sources close to the cash snaffling football boss.

A spokesman for the hapless front for a sporting organisation said that Mr Blatter would not be the first head of an organisation to be prosecuted for criminal mismanagement, and still manage to run an organisation from inside a prison cell.

“He might not be able to fly around the world as much as he used to but he can still take huge bribes from politicians and throw inappropriate cash payments out of windows. If anything he’ll have a bit more time on his hands and will probably be more focussed.”

Indeed, ruling out incarceration as any obstacle to his continued presidency Mr Blatter said “If FIFA needs to be cleaned up then I am obviously the best man for the job. I know it inside and out. And if it means conducting my investigations from a prison cell then so be it. I alone will stamp out all corruption within the organisation. If of course there is any.

“And as soon as I am let out I will help organise elections for my successor and vet all prospective candidates. The favourite Michel Platini looks like he’s going to be in the cell next to me so I’ll have plenty of time to quiz him during our time together and make sure he’s fit and proper. Of course I will also be standing for the position. I owe it to football.”

Officials from both Russia and Qatar have congratulated Mr Blatter on his continued role.

“We wish him every success” One told us.