Police pretend to stop watching Ecuadorian embassy

Julian Assange runner

Police are to pretend to stop watching the Ecuadorian embassy until such time as Julian Assange, fooled into thinking the coast is clear, pokes his little head out and tries to do a runner.

Earlier on today officers from the Metropolitan Police are understood to have left their positions standing in front of the embassy and instead shuffled almost out of sight, sporadically peeping back from round a corner.

A spokesman for the Met said “We’re starting to think that standing outside his retreat day in and day out en masse and in full uniform, waiting to arrest him and publicly announcing our intention to do this on television, isn’t actually going to coax him out. So that’s why I’m lurking around the immediate vicinity pretending to direct traffic, and a number of our officers are loitering in a nearby park disguised as a bush.

Julian Assange is wanted in Sweden on a rape charge that will involve him facing completely unconnected charges in America whether he is guilty of the former or not.

“Now would be a good time for him to make a sharp getaway, whilst we’re not there” an armed policeman dressed up as a milkman outside the Ecuadorian embassy told us.

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