Star Wars in ‘only a film’ shocker


The makers of star Wars have gone on record today to dispel and denounce rumours that their new release is only a film and a film for children for that matter. A spokesman for the Walt Disney Company said rumours that the whole thing was just a film, that people would come into a cinema and watch for a couple of hours before going off to do something else, were scurrilous and unfounded.

“It’s probably been started by a former star wars fan who’s now got a girlfriend and discovered sex. They’re the worst.”

The rumours, which were started earlier in the week by trolls on twitter, seem to suggest that rather than a monumental iconic beacon of a fine line between science fiction and mythical fact, the latest offering is actually just a film, thought to have Harrison Ford in it. Just like a lot of other films.

One fan told us that it was much more than a film, so much more, oh so much more than that. Which was why he was already dressed up as an ewok or something.

Another fan told us that far from being ‘just a film’, the mere viewing of a trailer had made him do a bit of wee. “It’s OK, I was on the toilet at the time. I often take my laptop to the toilet with me” He explained.

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