Phil Collins announces his retirement

phil collins

Former Genesis front man Phil Collins has disappointed the music world today at news that he is finally to hang up his voice box and call an end to an illustrious career that spanned 1970 to 2011 followed by a revival yesterday and today.

Understood to be leaving the business to devote more time to the 1980s the singer issued a statement explaining that he hadn’t fully realised that other people hearing live versions of hits such as ‘Groovy kind of love’ meant him actually singing them and subsequently hearing them himself.

A source close to the star said “He was overwhelmed by the amount of fans who congratulated him on his return but assured him that he didn’t need to start all that nonsense again on their account.

“He was going to tour the world performing such classics as ‘Sussudio’ and ‘You can’t hurry love’ until he realised that such songs were already irreversibly imprinted on peoples brains like a bad do it yourself tattoo and in fact rather than him needing to remind people of his timeless classics, those who had heard them only once would still be seeking psychiatric help to rid themselves of his watered down tunes long after he had departed this mortal coil”.

Mr Collins has recently been depicted in the film ‘Terminator Genesis’ where Arnold Schwarzenegger travels back to 1974 to try to prevent him from taking over from Peter Gabriel on vocals.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: