Vatican announce Pride march

The Vatican is to organise it’s own Gay Pride march later this year as part of the Catholic church’s new policy of inclusivity and celebrating diversity.

Speaking to a supportive congregation, Pope Francis said “Historically we like our priests to be sexually repressed and frustrated because they don’t have sex with the opposite sex rather than sexually repressed and frustrated because they don’t have sex with the same sex. That’s not to say that they can’t have sex with the same sex whilst truthfully claiming to be celibate in terms of having sex with the opposite sex. That makes it right and wrong at the same time. Even I’m confused and I’m supposed to be in charge of all this shit. So fuck it, we’re having a Pride march.”

The announcement appeared to go down well with the largely male audience. One Bishop told us “It’s amazing that we’ve never had one before. You already see more men in dresses outside the Vatican than anywhere else in the world. And that’s all year round. I can’t begin to imagine the outfits people will be wearing on the Pride march.”

Indeed a Vatican insider told us that plans were already afoot behind the scenes to organise a march fabulous enough to rival London or even Berlin.

“We’ll probably hold it on Christmas eve, everyone’s already up for a party then.” He explained.