Sun shocked as charging for boobs and knee-jerk opinions on the internet a failure

the sun

Rebekah Brookes, Editor in chief of popular newspaper The Sun, has said that she is ‘mystified’ at the failure of the paper’s online publication, which charged prospective readers £2 a week to look at womens’ breasts on the internet as well as misinformed knee-jerk opinions on current affairs.

Ms Brookes who was responding to a request for an interview we left on the answer machine of our own mobile said “We don’t know what’s wrong with people, £2 a week to get your xenophobic misguided opinions confirmed to you in black and white, plus a chance to say Whay-hay! Look at the norks on that! It’s only £100 a year and its not as if you can get this free anywhere else on the internet. We thought we had the market by the balls.

“People might be leaving us in droves but they won’t be able to access anti-migration rhetoric like ours anywhere on the internet without paying for it. Oh no. They’ll be back.”

Executive Chairman of News Corp, Rupert Murdoch, said “Unfortunately many people nowadays, even the slightly thick ones, seem to go to a variety of free news sources and make up their own minds about things. And go onto websites that have free boobs. It’s very misguided. They should have to pay and just hear my opinion. Just mine. Only mine.”

One former Sun reader told us “The Guardian is free isn’t it? I might have to plump for a more inclusive, non-discriminatory, fairer society if it’ll save me a few quid. Does the Guardian have boobs in it?”

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