George Bush Senior, the 41st President of the United States, has lambasted his son in his new biography which complains that George W Bush Junior only spent a mere half to three quarters of his presidency bombing the absolute fuck out of the middle east.
“If he’d just gotten himself out of bed and started ordering invasions half an hour earlier every morning then we’d have had at least a couple more wars on the go by now. We like wars. That’s why I’ve sent him to his room.” Mr Bush Senior muses.
However, 43rd President George W Bush has hit back at his father claiming that nothing he ever does is right and promising any trip to his room would only be temporary.
“He has to be the worlds most ungrateful dad. He turns his nose up at all his Christmas presents every year and every time you dutifully go round to visit he moans. So I thought I’d really push the boat out and team up with Tony Blair to fabricate a story about weapons of mass destruction in order to start a pointless and illegal war resulting in permanently destabilising the middle east and opening the door for Islamic State. And did that make him happy? Oh no. Fat chance of that.
“What does he want, blood? Well obviously he does, he wants the blood of millions of innocents in the name of oil but what does he want in addition to that? I’ve a good mind to get myself in a position of power again and not bomb anywhere at all. That would show him.”
“Not really. Hopefully Jeb will get in and carry on where we left off. ” He added.