Cameron “We’ve already promised the business to our arms dealer friends”

cameron bombs

Prime Minister David Cameron has made an impassioned plea to all MPs to think of year on year growth in the arms sector before voting for any options other than the indiscriminate bombing of Syria. Any move not involving blanket bombing the few remaining bits of Syria that have not already  been bombed,  he argued, could result in the UK making a slightly smaller than expected fortune off the back of the arms trade, many of these arms companies already having been promised the business.

“We don’t just want to disenfranchise our own poor. We want to bomb thousands of poor people abroad whilst simultaneously making money for friends of mine, with names like Rupert Frisbee-Pilkington, who make missiles. We’ve as good as signed the order books. They’ve already made the bombs. And don’t forget these people might offer us directorships in the future, if they haven’t already.

“If we don’t join everyone else in the annihilation of Syria then other countries are going to stop asking us to join in with future bombing of countries. Then all we’ll be able to do is watch from the sidelines and sell them more arms.

“Anyone who disagrees is going to have to explain how we can make our friends rich by only selling arms to Governments with dubious human rights records and not selling them to ourselves.”

The vote tomorrow is thought to mean Britain to join France, Russia and USA in nice shiny planes dropping carefully targeted bombs to destroy a terrorist movement that has already survived just about everything else being bombed.

“Unless Jeremy Corbyn ruins everything” one MP told us foaming at the mouth.

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