Pope Francis has recognised a miracle attributed to Paul Daniels, clearing the way for him to be made a saint next year.
“The Holy Father has authorised the Congregation for the Causes of Saints to proclaim the decree concerning the miracle attributed to the intercession of blessed Paul Daniels with able assistance from Debbie McGee” the Vatican said on Friday.
The miracle is thought to be one of many performed by Mr Daniels at the Apollo theatre in Oxford in the mid 1980’s in front of a sizeable crowd and also recorded for television.
One eye witness told us “Obviously anyone who can produce a dove from a handkerchief and somehow guess which playing card a member of the audience has secretly chosen, can only have done it through the divine intervention of our Lord on high and for that we should praise him. For we are not worthy.”
“This barely scratches the surface of St Paul’s ability to produce miracles. I’ve actually seen him chop his wife up, put her parts in separate boxes on wheels, push them around separately for a bit and then put them back together and his wife is fine. Only one person could cause that to happen. God.”
Mr Daniels is said to be delighted at the news and looking forward to being canonised.
“And I get my own fuck off great cathedral in London. Now that’s magic.” He explained.
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