Francis Bacon self-portrait vandalised by monkey with a sponge

Francis Bacon portrait

Sotheby’s  have admitted they will be lucky to get any serious bids for a rare self-portrait by Francis Bacon after it appears to have been vandalised by some sort of demented monkey with a sponge, thus leaving it looking nothing like him.

A spokesman for the prestigious auction house said “It’s all smudged. This is supposed to be one of his finest works. And now look at it. It’s fucking shit. If Bacon was alive to see this he’d be furious. Or he might have just painted another one. Or maybe taken a selfie.”

It’s thought that the monkey either leapt into Bacon’s studio just after he had painted it 45 years ago and started attacking it with a wet sponge, or perhaps the monkey only recently attacked it with a sponge soaked in some sort of detergent that would melt the paint years later and make it smudge.

However Sotheby’s have admitted that they have sold bigger crap and sometimes even for the asking price.

“All is not lost. The best thing we can hope for is to try and persuade the public that he actually painted it like that. If we keep a straight face and ask for £20 million plus it might just work.” An inside source confided.

“Some twat’ll buy it.” He added.



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