Children no longer have to go to school

Children no longer legally have to go to school following the victory of Isle of Wight father John Platt in the high court this morning.

Lord Justice Lloyd Jones and Mrs Justice Thirlwall made the landmark decision following revelations that many Government ministers have financial interests in the holiday industry, which notoriously makes it’s money by adding a zero onto it’s prices over the school holidays.

“Consequently, it’s only fair that we just let people attend school at their own convenience. That could be at night or they could come back in later life and do it.”  Lloyd Jones explained.

Outside court after the ruling, Mr Platt said: “I am obviously hugely relieved. Not just for me but for hundreds of other parents. And now we can keep our kids at home all the time. They can do jobs like mow the lawn, fetch my cigarettes and replace loose roof tiles.”

Education Secretary Nicky Morgan said “It’s a regrettable situation. Until we actually change the law, parents can now keep their kids off all term if they wish. They don’t even have to give us a reason. And we can’t do fuck all.”

A spokesman for Thompson holidays has said that the company will fight the decision.