Prime Minister Theresa May has voiced her secret admiration for the forthcoming strikes as she feels they treat the public with contempt, which is something she holds deep to her heart.
“It’s just a shame that they are standing up for workers rights and bringing the country to a standstill. It might ruining people’s Christmas which is great,but I would prefer it if they were doing it for fun rather than the right reasons.
“If only we could find a way to absolutely fuck the workforce and cause as much distress to other normal people and then get them to blame it on other poor people, immigrants or maybe a man in a wheelchair.
“And why do Weetabix workers have to go on strike? Can’t they just tell children they can’t have any breakfast for personal enjoyment. That would be better.”
Mrs May made the comments yesterday at a £500,000 a head, tax payer funded champagne reception held for CEOs, hedge fund managers and landed gentry where she assured them that the strikes would be short lived.
“We’ll strangle a puppy a day until they go back to work.” She promised.