A heterosexual couple has lost the right to be not allowed to get married as if they were a gay couple trying to get married before gay marriage was defined in law.
An angry Rebecca Steinfeld and Charles Keidan, from London said , “If a gay couple have to have a civil partnership when they want to be married about ten years ago then we should be treated equally. We demand the right to also be legally discriminated against in a way that gay people aren’t anymore. Even though we’re actually quite run of the mill and a bit dull.”
The news comes as civil partnerships have dropped by 85%, funnily enough following legislation finally allowing gay people to get married. However a Government spokesman said:
“Just fucking get married you miserable pair of sods. For God’s sake if you want something to fill your empty lives why not go out and have a few beers, maybe see a film at the cinema, or plan a summer holiday like any other straight or gay couple. Or just carry on blathering on and maybe fight for the right not to vote or something.”
The couple are thought to be taking their fight to the Supreme Court. One judge told us that he was going to the pub now to avoid adjudicating on the matter sober.
“Get married, don’t get married, stay together, split up, boil a bear, stick a bucket on your head. Just do it a long way away from me ideally Hopefully I’ll be so monumentally rat-arsed that I end up with no memory of the case.” He told us.