Man nipping over to France for a few days “defying the will of the people”

A man nipping over to France for a long week-end  has been accused of defying the will of the people by the Daily Mail.

Despite being perfectly aware of the mood of the nation, Jon Bird of Boston Lincolnshire apparently drove to Portsmouth before boarding a ferry to Caen in Normandy, seemingly without any sort of remorse. If that wasn’t enough it’s thought that he had completed an online course in French which he then used to order food, drink, accommodation and even make small talk with the locals.

A furious Mail columnist Richard Littlejohn wrote “The people have spoken and this traitor thinks he can just defecate on our heritage by way of a long week-end eating, drinking and sight seeing. And what’s even worse is he can. You couldn’t  make it up. Apparently all the courts are too pc to even give him community service, let alone the long prison sentence he deserves.”

Indeed the lack of punitive action on the matter has proved to be a political embarrassment with the front pages of both the Mail and the Express showing pictures of Mr Bird arriving back in Portsmouth with a selection of cheeses, some long bread and a stripy top he appeared to have bought on the ferry.

Whilst Prime Minister Theresa May has refused to comment on the matter, Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn said “As you know I’m against renewing trident but whilst we’ve still got it we should use it to sink his ferry before he travels again. It’s what the people demand and we must respect that.”