Football in turmoil after badgers accused of ‘moving the goalposts’

The fate of the beautiful game over the coming week is hanging in the balance following a statement by Environment secretary Owen Paterson that badgers have been moving the goalposts. “The badgers moved the goalposts. We’re dealing with a wild animal, subject to the vagaries of the weather,disease and breeding patterns, that likes nothing more […]

Owen Paterson torn to shreds by badgers

Environment Secretary Owen Paterson has been torn to shreds by badgers in an unexpected turn to the badger cull saga. It’s thought that a number of badgers managed to gain access to the Department of the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs by disguising themselves as beagles and opportunistically following a man in a red suit […]