Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed a decree recognising the Isle of Wight as a “sovereign and independent state”, officials say.
Sources said the decree would come into force immediately.
Foreign Secretary William Hague said “Mr Putin has had his eye on the Isle of Wight and their thriving ice cream and garlic industry for years. We’re not 100% sure that Russian troops are there at the moment but the Isle of Wight Press have reported a high volume of complaints of ‘strangers’. I didn’t see direct evidence of troops when I visited the Island but it was 1978.”
The move follows Sunday’s referendum in which officials said 97% of voters backed breaking away from the United Kingdom and joining Russia. The referendum held in Moscow was said to be open to all Islanders.
It’s thought that many Islanders have embraced the decree despite it being described as illegal throughout the international community. Using the medium of morse code one islander told us:
“There’s only two types of people, us and mainlanders. And if we’re going to be ruled by mainlanders it’s clearly better if they’re further away. Plus we are great admirers of Mr Putin on the Island. His riding of horses topless and diving to the bottom of the sea to find ancient vases goes down a storm in our culture. I’d be happy for him to marry my sister if I hadn’t just married her myself.”