Channel 5 have confirmed today that the Celebrity Big Brother house will be getting a new house mate this week in the form of Britain’s most dangerous inmate Charles Bronson.
A spokesman for the show’s production company Endemol explained “It’s another twist in the saga. Everybody likes a bit of drama, and you don’t get much more dramatic than a man with a penchant for covering himself head to toe in butter and giving everyone in sight a proper shoeing. And don’t forget the house mates will only have so much butter available to put on their toast in the mornings so any such antics may cause some friction.”
It’s thought that despite not yet having entered the house, Bronson could already be bookies’ favourite to come out on top. One of his former cell mates told us “He’s bound to win it. If anyone nominates him for eviction he’ll cover himself in butter and give the house mates, camera crew and executive producers a proper shoeing. In the event that there’s no butter he’ll simply break out of the house, steal some butter, break back into the house, cover himself in butter and give everyone a proper shoeing.”
However one former Prison Warder who worked with Bronson told us “He’ll probably be alright in there. As long as no-one annoys him.”
This will actually be the Second Celebrity Big Brother this year after a breakdown of communications meant the first one that included celebrities Cliff Richard, Donald Trump and Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Khamenei ran for 6 weeks but no-one actually filmed it.