Rapper Cee Lo Green has made a heartfelt plea to fans, non fans and the public in general to cease and desist from the recent craze of shoving inanimate objects up his arse. The rapper best known for singing ‘crazy’ made the announcement via twitter, facebook and telepathy from his room in a private hospital where already he has already had a toothbrush, 2 tablet computers, a beach ball and a children’s bicycle removed from his anus.
The sudden spate of inserting things into Cee Lo Green began it seems immediately after a session on twitter when the singer-songwriter claimed rape wasn’t rape if the woman is unconscious. Business partner and fellow performer Dangermouse who was there at the time told us “He just sent the tweet and suddenly the front door was wide open and there was a queue of people with inanimate objects. It seems that somewhere along the line some cultural taboo had been broken, and it was now alright to shove things up his arse.”
A spokesman for Mr Lo Green’s record company have asked people to show restraint. “We realise that this has become a bit of a craze like the ice bucket challenge, but please ask yourselves ‘Have I already shoved something up Cee Lo Green’s arse today? Should I give someone else a go?”
Police have warned people inserting items into Cee Lo Green’s arse to only insert their own items and not items belonging to other people. “Inserting other people’s possessions into Cee Lo Green without their express permission could potentially result in litigation” they warned.
News Toad 
ha!