Wonga to write off loans to dogs, cats and babies

fucking wonga

Fine, upstanding and not all predatory loans company Wonga have today confirmed that they will stop pursuing loans taken out by dogs, cats and babies.

A spokesman for the not all parasitical debt mongers explained “We’re well aware that our loans are so easy to get that sometimes dogs, cats or babies can take out a loan by walking over the lap top. By getting them into debt we’re providing a valuable service that they can’t get through the banks. By rights we should follow them to the end of the earth phoning them every day, whilst compound interest spirals the loans out of all control, but people like dogs, cats and babies and we want to look nice so more people will take out our lovely 5383% APR loans. And if that’s not enough to persuade you to get in to debt with us, here’s some puppets dressed up as old people or something.”

However toddlers and chimpanzees will be harangued hourly by aggressive over worked call centre staff on commission.” If they have opposable thumbs and can eat bananas, then they can take responsibility for their own finances.” we were told.

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne told us “We should ban the dubious practises of pay day loans or at least limit the amount of interest they can charge. Yet mysteriously we never seem to.”


  1. Reblogged this on Anything Except Normal and commented:
    Could not have put it better myself!

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