No more new houses says bloke who’s already got a house


A bloke who’s  already got a house has told reporters that he “won’t be taking it lying down” at news there are plans to build some more houses near where he lives. Speaking as part of a protest against the new village of Welbourne to be built near Fareham in Hampshire, he explained that it was alright, he already had a house and it had a nice view thank you very much so there was no need to be building any more.

“Honestly, I’m not a NIMBY but thing about having new places to live is all out of keeping with the ethos of pure unadulterated countryside, apart from things that were built previously on pure unadulterated countryside, like my house, which is absolutely fine.” He told us.

“If we build more houses and make them more affordable, people are only going to want to live in them and it will be awful. It will cause road pollution, noise pollution and pollution pollution. It will also pollute my delusion of living in 1950s Nutwood and one day running into Rupert Bear.” he added.

“And if more people have somewhere to live then my house might not be worth so much. These people don’t really want new houses. They just want to bugger up my view.”

One lady on the protest march briefly stopped shouting indiscriminately at passers by to tell us “I don’t understand why these people can’t just live underground.”

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