UKIP membership to be classed as a disability

UKIP membership can constitute a disability in certain circumstances according to a ruling today by EU’s highest court.

The European Court of Justice was asked to consider the case of a rather bigoted English male and UKIP voter who says he was sacked on the ambiguous technicality of being an immense twat, having refused to come in to work until everyone was sent back to where they came from.

Judges said that UKIP membership in itself was not a disability – but if a person had a long-term impairment because of their ill formed views, then they would be protected by disability legislation. Indeed symptoms such as blaming their own shortcomings on harder working people from other countries, blaming thunderstorms on homosexuality and blaming traffic jams on a diverse ethiinic mix look set to entitle the owner of such views to a free mobility scooter and a special badge.

A spokesman for the ECJ explained “If someone can’t see a woman breast feeding without running to a radio station and shouting about it, then they’re going to find it hard to hold down a conventional job. And they should be entitled to a seat on a bus.”

One UKIP activist we spoke to said that the ruling was good and also bad depending on who was explaining it to him.”Coming over here and taking all our jobs and entitling us to benefits. The more the merrier then. Shit. Does that mean I’m cured?”