Findus simply victims to devious cows

Findus have issued a statement today explaining that they have themselves been the victim of an elaborate scam by cows who have managed to persuade gullible horses to take their places in abattoirs. It’s thought that organised cells of cows have managed to swap places with horses using a mixture of outright lies and emotional […]

Tesco “We’re not sorry and we’re going to carry on doing it”

Tesco have told their critics today that they’re not sorry about sneaking horse meat into their products and they plan to roll out more horse to a variety of new products over the coming years. In a statement this morning Chief Executive Philip Clarke announced “Haha! You all ate horse! That’ll serve you right for […]