People caught smiling, laughing, dancing or exhibiting a cheerful persona are to be arrested on suspicion of use of legal highs as part of the Government’s ‘arrest everyone for everything except alcohol and tobacco’ drive.
Prime Minister David Cameron warned anyone of a lower social stature but a suspiciously sunny disposition to expect the full force of the law. “We know you’re on something. We may not know what it is, we may not know if it has any health dangers, we my not even know whether it is you or your mate that has just done some. But you won’t be getting away with it.” He told us.
The moves are set to follow hot on the heels of recent government legislation banning schoolboy myths regarding legal highs that can be found in your own kitchen.
“Someone once told me that if you dry out banana skins and smoke them you get some sort of high apparently. And nutmeg. And chives look a little bit like marijuana if you don’t know what marijuana looks like. So we’ll be banning all of those things.” Mr Cameron explained.
“To be honest, if anyone is cheerful under our Government, they have got to be off their tits on something.”
The new law regarding probable possession and consumption of something or other comes in to place in the very near future if it hasn’t already.
News Toad 
Good stuff. I could see this on “the onion.”