Northern towns to revert to being in black and white

Northern provincial towns from Hull upwards are set to return to being in monochrome following more difficult decisions from the Government this morning.

Northerners warned to only drink beer

More than 300,000 households in Lancashire have been warned by the Department of Health to only drink alcoholic drinks after reports that all their water is now contaminated with a microbial parasite. Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said “We’re going to sort it out at some point in the next few days, but until then all […]

Cameron “Northerners to blame for next recession”

Every single person from the north of England is responsible for the next recession according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking to Parliament following his return from the G20 summit Mr Cameron said “The last recession was finally brought to an end by us, in a rather heroic fashion if I may say so, by […]