“You’re on your own now” says every single economist ever

Every single economist and financial analyst ever has wished Britain the best of luck in it’s exit from the single market, but has ruled out sticking around to watch it happen. A spokesman for credit rating agency Standard and Poors said “I’ve been warning against a clusterfuck of a recession for years and now its […]

BREXIT joy as pound worth same as Britain in 1972

UKIP members and leave voters have been popping corks this evening following news that the value of the pound reached the same as it was in 1972, just before Britain joined the EU.

“Someone should have warned us about a recession” say Brexiters

Furious Brexiters are criticising economists and credit agencies today for not warning them that stepping out of the largest free market in the world would somehow cause a clusterfuck of a recession.

Cameron “Northerners to blame for next recession”

Every single person from the north of England is responsible for the next recession according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking to Parliament following his return from the G20 summit Mr Cameron said “The last recession was finally brought to an end by us, in a rather heroic fashion if I may say so, by […]

Osborne “Benefit claimants to blame for global share slump”

Benefit claimants in Britain are 100% to blame for the recent global share slump according to Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne who has today announced plans to introduce more austerity measures until such time as worldwide share prices stabilise. And then carry on introducing more. “Once again the global economy looks shaky, particularly in […]